I call her mine,
but that was never true.
I am her charge,
She knows what I do.
- Like the sun and the moon, she is always there. I just can't always see. But I know she watches, it comforts me. -
For every fault I make,
She shows me a lesson.
For every tear I cry,
She understood why.
- Not once I have to explain my thoughs or feelings to her. She shows me how to make sense of myself. -
When pain and sadness hold my heart,
and winter's winds cut strong.
She flies by and strikes me hard,
at her mercy I belong.
- She speaks the only language I truly understand. Harsh as her actions may be, she speaks more then a thousand words in a split-second. -
When pride and joy feed my flame,
and I could never fall.
She's not there to see me shine,
just distant and standing tall.
- I find it a shame that she does not comment on my achievements, few as they are. But she knows, and I know how to make her proud. -
Her patience and her cunning,
I shall never know their ends.
Her beauty makes the world seem dull,
Her spirit time suspends.
- I feel like an open book to her, and she always seems knows the next chapter. Her appearance and presence, to nothing they compare. -
Rarely I disregard her words,
and find a path alone.
She will be at the end of it,
and I'll see how she had flown.
Because she knew, she got there first,
She already knew the way.
She then points out the road I took,
was exactly what she'd say.
- She knows I will disagree with her every now and again. She seems to have taken this into consideration. I can never understand how she does that, and I really don't want to either. -
She only comes to me when I really need her aid.
She does not come to talk or just to visit.
She is so close and yet so far away.
I cannot ask for her help, because she knows when I need it.
I love her.
She will never love me back.
But that is good.
I won't loose her as a friend.
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Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
Author's Comments
This is a tribute.
Comments
 *hugs* Thats so beautiful Sei, I'm crying
    don't kow what to say, might have to read it a few times more  -- "Whenever you feel like, spread your wings and take your place in the sky. You will find yourself in a place between reality and fantasy. For there you must find your inner self." ~Me  Thank you very much my friend.Much appreciated. Thank you,
I'm sorry to make you try. Not my intention. you deserve al appreciation I can give with something so beautifull like this
-- "Whenever you feel like, spread your wings and take your place in the sky. You will find yourself in a place between reality and fantasy. For there you must find your inner self." ~Me  wow....what can i say...other than..wow. *tears up* thats really spicial...and whoever you wrote it for, should be honored as a goddess.
-- Proudly part of Dragon Artists [link] "Thats so STRAIGHT!"  aww sei, thats beautiful
no other words can descripe this -- randomspaceformetospewbitsofcr ap [link] <USELESS SIGGY IS USELESS>  It's like you entered my brain and stole my thoughts. I know just how you feel
 Very lovely.--  A morning filled with 400 billion suns. Thank you. ^_^
 I didn't really steal anything, did I? |
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^Ikue has been a devious member of our community for almost 7 years and in this time he has proven to be nothing short of dedicated and devoted. Whilst volunteering his time over the last 22 months as a Gallery Moderator within the Community Relations Team, Chris has brought the Vector gallery and many vector artists directly into the spotlight. ^Ikue's commitment to the community is evident in everything he touches and you can always find him reaching out to others with an encouraging word. Chris is a natural leader with a vibrant and empathic personality, and is a role model for deviants everywhere. It's ev... Read More
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Critiques
Originality : The writer used an ordinary topic, a talk about a girl, but he spiced it up and put a sparkle to it with originality. He did this by using a different kind of vision (as seen in the 'Vision' part above), and technique (as seen in the 'Technique' part below).
Technique :The technique was different, in a good way. The technique the writer used made this piece of writing an easy read while keeping a deepness and harder to understand. This piece makes you think a bit and makes you read it over and over again.
Impact : The impact is very strong in this piece of writing, it hits you so hard that it can make you cry.
Example from the text :
I love her.
She will never love me back.
But that is good.
I won't loose her as a friend.
Overall : Overall this piece is one of my favourite poems that I've ever read (and I've read a lot of poems). It makes you think about it over and over again trying to figure out if there is a deeper meaning to it. It also teaches you a lesson in love and relationships (and that is something I'm going to leave for you to figure out).
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